I finally ended up in the receiving ward in the VA Hospital where I all but gave up on life. Before coming here I woke up from nightmares in the dark and feel like someone was standing over me ready to take my life and I was afraid to turn-over to see who it was.  When I finally got the nerve to turnover, no one was there.

 

I was like a zombie walking around in a daze.  Satan told me that I was going to commit suicide and I started to if it wasn't for the Lord I would have.  I made myself get up out of bed and force myself to eat.  I drove down the road to do something and not remember how I got there.

 

All I could think of is my wife, my children, my job and how I was going to make it.  I knew I had to keep going to church for my strength and get my soul fed, but I sat there like a zombie.  I could hear the preacher preaching, people talking to me as we shook hands, but nothing seemed to register in my mind.

 

My mom, brother, and two sisters would come to visit me at the hospital and during one of their visits they had me transferred to another VA hospital.  If they hadn't, I would have laid there and faded away to nothing along with my mind.

 

I finally started getting better, but I still had ways to go.  Good old mom and day, bless their hearts.  While I was staying with them I didn't care too much about anything, not even myself.  I would take a long spell from shaving or bathing.  Mom finally came to me and told me the take a bath.  I guess I was getting pretty ripe.

 

God gave me a new heart and mind when I turned my life over to Him in 1972.  During all the things I was pushing my way through, I was upset a lot, but I can honestly say I never hated any of those who fought against me and brought all those heartaches.  After all these years, I still don't.  Instead of hating them, I pray for them.  I don't want to see anyone lost when the Lord comes for us.

 

My wife was my first and last.  We had twenty-five years together before she left me.  I have never had another wife.  I still believe the Lord gave her to me.  I believe if she came knocking on my door, I would take her back.  She was my helpmate and she was the best all the way up until she got wondering eyes.  She went to church with me, sang with a group, worked for the Lord, took good care of our children and a great homemaker.

 

I pray for her that she gets right with the Lord if she hasn't already.  She was too good a Christian to be lost.  Please help me pray!

 

I told you my story to let you know that no matter what comes your way, no matter what you go through in life, Jesus is always there to help you, if you let Him.  He loves you and me so much that He gave His son for us.

 

There is no greater friend in the world than Jesus Christ.  He will love you, care for you and comfort you when no one else will.  Just remember, "He was, and is, there all the time!