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Take a knee

A GUIDE FOR  TROOPS & VETS

Sometimes the Hardest Part of Going to War Is Coming Home

On a winter's day, Wendy Parham drove her husband from a Georgia military hospital back home to Social Circle, Georgia. He stared out the window at the tall pines that line Interstate 20 -- and cried.

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Wendy thought he was overwhelmed by the greenery after so many months in the Iraqi dust. He kept searching the road, watching for other cars. He cringed when they hit a bump or saw dead animals, which were used as booby traps in Iraq.

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At home, he couldn't sleep through the night. Sleeping meant his guard was down. And that meant nightmares.

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Sometimes, he encountered dead insurgents in his dreams. But when he pulled the scarves off their heads, he peered into the faces of his fallen friends.

Thousands of other veterans were struggling with post-combat stress issues. Spc. Shane Parham was not alone, but he felt that way.

He was so happy and excited to see his wife and children, but they couldn't understand why he became angry at the least little thing. When he did he would break down and cry and apologize. 

There Is Help Available But People Can Only Go So Far!

 

Even the Lord became angry at one time.

People were in the temple selling, trading, making deals and making a mockery out of His house and He didn't like it 

 

If anyone had PTSD He did after all He was put through.

He was in a war all by Himself.  He died a HERO!

 

Luke 19:46

46 Saying unto them, It is written, My house is the house of prayer: but ye have made it a den of thieves.

 

Matthew 21:12

And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and theseats of them that sold doves,

It was nearly time for the Jewish Passover celebration, so Jesus went to Jerusalem.  In the Temple area, he saw merchants selling cattle, sheep, and doves for sacrifices; he also saw dealers at tables exchanging foreign money. Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple.

 

He drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables. Then, going over to the people who sold doves, he told them, “Get these things out of here. Stop turning my Father’s house into a marketplace!”

Can You Relate To These Stories?

Jared just stared at his feet.  He felt awkward and embarrassed.  As he nervously glanced around my office, he finally spoke, "I've never been to one of you types before.  I'm not crazy you know."  His voice sounded desperate as he struggled to maintain some dignity.  "I'm about to lose my family because I can't control my temper.  I don't know what happens to me.  Something sets me off, and suddenly I'm yelling and cursing.  I have no control.  I just see red.  The next thing I know, I'm screaming at my kid or my fist has gone through a wall.  I've even hit people a few times.  And now, look at me.  I have to see a shrink."

Perhaps your anger has never led to a therapy referral, but you know it's way out of line.  When you explode, you yell and say things you later regret; sometimes it feels like you're out of control.  It doesn't take much for you to get worked up.  You can relate to Ann.  "I don't know what comes over me.  It can be the smallest thing that irritates me.  Then I explode.  It doesn't matter who is around me.  I just unleash these pent-up feelings and then feel terrible.  Every time it happens I tell myself I won't react like that again, but I do.  I can't seem to stop."

Maybe you think you shouldn't be angry at all.  Anger isn't an emotion you allow to surface because you think it is wrong and destructive.  Belinda, for example, prides herself on the fact that she is a peacemaker.  "I never get angry, only frustrated.  I don't raise my voice, and I don't get into arguments with anyone.  As a Christian, I don't think I should be angry."

 

Whether you are seriously out of control, occasionally destructive, hot-tempered, irritated or unaware of existing anger, it's time to break free from anger's grip.  1 - Understand this powerful emotion.  2 - Examine biblical guidelines for anger expression.  3 - Identify anger triggers.  4 - Learn strategies for healthy anger expression.  5 - Practice and live a transformed life.

While it's impossible to eliminate all the people and circumstances that bring an angry response, it's not impossible to "be angry, and yet do not sin"  (Eph. 4:26)  In fact, it is your choice to respond to angry feelings in either a positive or negative way.  Feelings will come and go, but you are always responsible for your actions.

What Are Anger and Irritability?
 

Everyone has been angry at some point, and even the most patient of people can get annoyed or irritated at times. Perhaps you’ve been in heavy traffic and become upset at other drivers. Or maybe you’ve gotten mad after someone broke his or her word or damaged your personal property. Being interrupted, or just the way someone did or said something might have gotten on your nerves. Many people become angry or irritable in situations like these.

 

Anger is an emotion that can range from mild annoyance to intense rage. People may become angry when they feel threatened, harmed, or powerless. Some Veterans may be more likely to feel anger in everyday situations because of a traumatic event from past military experiences, such as combat, physical or sexual abuse, injury, or the loss of a buddy from their unit. Others may experience anger because of the stress of such life events as preparing for deployment, transitioning from service, changing jobs, retiring from work, or because of family or job disputes.

 

Slightly different from anger, irritability is having a general tendency to be easily frustrated or impatient. Sometimes, irritability causes people to lash out at others, which can put a strain on personal and work relationships.

 

Constant anger and irritability can be bad for a person’s health, resulting in problems such as high blood pressure, headaches, ulcers, and other conditions. 

“I had a short fuse. If you looked at me the wrong way, I'd basically walk up to you and say, ‘You got an issue?"

For most Veterans, anger and irritability do not interfere with day-to-day life. However, if the signs and symptoms associated with anger and irritability are affecting your work, relationships, or activities, or they seem to be happening all the time, it could be a sign of underlying issues that need to be addressed.

If I’m experiencing Anger or Irritability,

what can I do about it right away?

Remember, you can’t always control situations that make you angry, but you

can choose your response.

Some anger management strategies include:

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  • Taking a timeout. Walk away from the situation and give yourself time to calm down.

  • Adopting relaxation methods to avoid an angry response. Take slow, deep breaths or count to 10.

  • Breaking the cycle of anger. Acknowledge your feelings and then remind yourself that responding in an angry way may make the situation worse or result in negative consequences for you or someone you care about.

  • Maintaining a regular sleep schedule. A good night’s sleep can help you handle situations during your day.

  • Exercising regularly. Physical activity can improve your mood and help you sleep better.

  • #1 - Take A Knee - Talk to the Lord!

 

Talking with your family and friends about your anger and irritability can be a good first step. They may be able to provide support and help you find resources that are right for you. You can also begin letting people know about the types of situations that irritate you or make you feel angry to prevent negative situations before they occur.

Take the next step: Make the connection.

Every day, Veterans who served in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard connect with useful resources and effective treatments for dealing with anger and irritability. If anger and irritability are affecting your health and well-being or getting in the way of your relationships, work, or daily activities, you may want to reach out for anger management support. Consider connecting with:

 

  • Your doctor. Ask if your doctor has experience treating Veterans or can refer you to someone who does. If you feel comfortable enough with your physician, he or she may be able to help you find tools to manage anger even without direct experience with Veterans.

  • A mental health professional, such as a therapist

  • Your local VA Medical Center or Vet Center. VA specializes in the care and treatment of Veterans.

  • A spiritual or religious advisor

Explore these resources for more information about Veterans experiencing anger and irritability.

Learn more about what you can do if you are experiencing specific concerns related to anger and irritability, such as stress and anxiety, relationship problems, posttraumatic stress, and bipolar disorder.

 

After Deployment
This website has wellness resources for Veterans and Service members, including information and self-help tools for anger and irritability and other issues they commonly experience.
www.afterdeployment.dcoe.mil/topics-anger

 

National Center for PTSD
This website provides information, resources, and practical advice for Veterans, their family and friends, and the public when dealing with trauma.
www.ptsd.va.gov/public/index.asp

 

Vet Center
If you are a combat Veteran, you can bring your DD214 to your local Vet Center and speak with a counselor or therapist — many of whom are Veterans themselves — for free, without an appointment, and regardless of your enrollment status with VA. In addition, any Veteran who was sexually traumatized while serving in the military is eligible to receive counseling regardless of gender or era of service.
www2.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter_flsh.asp

 

VA Medical Center Facility Locator
Anger and irritability may be related to other health conditions that need attention. VA provides world-class health care to eligible Veterans. Most Veterans qualify for cost-free health care services, although some Veterans must pay modest copays for health care or prescriptions. Explore your eligibility for health care using VA's Health Benefits Explorer tool and find out more about the treatment options available to you.
www2.va.gov/directory/guide/home.asp?isflash=1

If you tried everything humanly & everything has failed, Try Jesus!

After my discharge in 71 I went home with a lot on my mind.  I didn't know which end was up.  I was anchoes, depressed, getting upset at the least little thing.  I didn't know what to do or where to go.

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My brother-in-law was KIA in Vietnam.  Close friends of mine were KIA over there to. It's something that is hard to get out of your mind.

My wife and I were visiting he her mother and while I sat in the recliner watching TV out of no where a thought dropped in my mind, go to church.  I thought of the small country church I went to as a boy.  That night I got dressed and went to church.

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They had altar call and a friend of mine was singing, "The Light House." I got out of seat at least three times and went out on the front steps to pull myself together.  Something keep pulling me back inside.  I couldn't  get in my car for nothing.  The third time I went in the church I ran to the altar and after about an hour or so I got up and I felt like a big load lifted off my shoulders and I haven't felt the same.

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If I learned anything that night it was that I should have gone to Jesus in the first place and I would have had the best friend in the world to talk to about my problems and cares.  He was there all the time.

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When Mike's anger got out of hand,

he got help.

A Korean War Veteran’s recovery

through treatment

One's story of PTSD and recovery.

Road rage was a sign to address buried emotions

5 Tips to Manage Anger

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FOXHOLE  

FAITH

This is the song I fell in love with that night back in 1972!

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What Are Anger and Irritability?
 

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